Broken sunlight flashes on the blank wall before me, and then it is gone… night has fallen in that space between this moment and the next one. I stare at the wall wondering where all the light has gone. The wall remains, but it is empty now, flat tones, muted colours, and subtle shadows. The emptiness. The nothingness. The Blandness. I stare at the wall. Sweat trickles from my temples and the fan tap, tap, taps on its bent axle as hot air, not cool, circulates in vain around my sweaty feet. The wall doesn’t care.
I stare at the wall. The emptiness. The nothingness. The blandness. I stare into the moment where regret lies hidden behind the shadows from the light of what once was. I stare into those eyes, now memories, and beg for forgiveness, beg for reprieve, beg for some response, a sign, a token, a knowing glance, a tear… and nothing happens. I stare at the wall, and try to love emptiness for its soft caress and promise of stable anguish, for the joy of knowing that once it was not so… but for having been in the sunshine once, emptiness holds no love for me.
I stare at the wall.
I stare at the wall.
February 13th, 2010 by Raph | No Comments »